May 12, 2002

Where to begin? Today I took Manda to meet someone new. Her friend had another friend who wanted to me. It seemed harmless to meet yet another new person, so I went with the idea. We went to Menlo about 2:30 in the afternoon since Manda got up late. We arrvied and were seeing where the group of people we were going to meet were. Turns out they were all stuck in the bathroom area (weird, eh?) and we didn't see them till around after 3. Anyway, there was yet another weird vibe in the air. I don't like getting these signals since I know something is going to happen. There was an awkward silence, well not really, the other party didn't really seem interested in talking with us after 5 minutes. We walked to Old Navy, where we all split up. Again, no efforts to talk. This was a meet like no other. After wandering around in Old Navy for awhile, me and Manda mutually agreed to leave without saying a word. We quickly snuck out of Old Navy without the other party seeing. We left the mall but had to come back in to walk to the other end to get to where we parked. What a mess! Anyways, we came back to town and then went for Rita's Ice. That was fun. Then we drove around for awhile before coming home. After diteching the group, we had fun. Then tonight, the entire clan has the nerve to blame us for everything that went on. It wasn't even our part to take the blame since they were the ones who ditched us, and didn't seem too interested in hanging out since they didn't make any efforts whatsoever to talk to us. They said some pretty low things to us about our looks, which I took with a grain of salt. They were a few years younger, therefore immature about what they want in the relationship department. Pretty weird afternoon. On my side of things, I want to see PA again next week. I would like Manda to come with me since I'll be going out of NJ. I hope she comes too! It would be cool if she met up with someone in PA too. Last, but not least, I Emailed A again for one last time. I apologized again, but I won't hold my breath for a reply, even though I wish we could work things out even a little bit.

Song of the moment: Injected - Faithless

May 11, 2002

Nothing major here. Took cousin to mall and that was about it. Mainly blah day, thinking about a lot of things.

May 10, 2002

Six Flags Trip. This trip was something else. I wanted to go, but was unsure of how it would turn out. In the end, it was fun. I had a pretty decent time. I was able to get into school late in the morning so I slept in a little longer. We left after 8:30 and didn't get to the park till about 9:30 or something around there. Everyone wanted me to go on the roller coasters. I wasn't really big on going on anything like that since I was never on one. I hung out with Manda and her brother for the day. Manda dragged me on Batman, and I wasn't really nervous about it. What a ride that was! I didn't like moving so fast after the first drop and being upside down was weird. I had my eyes closed for most of it..lol. Pretty lame, eh? I got my chest banged around from the ride since I'm skinny. LOL. The only other one I went on was the Runaway Train. That was alright except for two violent turns which were crazy. I went on a couple ground-based rides and that was mainly it. Even though I didn't go on a lot of things, I had fun which was the important part. I took lots of pictures, and even a movie clip of Manda and her brother on Medusa. That was pretty cool. We got home around 7, and I was burnt to a crisp. My whole face is completely burned and my arms and neck. Face hurts the most though. Guess you can tell I'm never in the sun that much! I had fun, so it doesn't really matter. Tonight EC was on too, but this episode didn't seem as good as the other ones. Maybe it was just me since I was tired. I can't wait till next week's, that's for sure!

May 8 and 9, 2002

Nothing really went on these two days other than the usual boring stuff. Nothing to report!

May 7, 2002

Another boring day. I really have nothing to say tonight. Tomorrow is Wednesday and then Thursday and then the 6 Flags trip is Friday. I'm kinda looking forward to it, but I never was a big person for amusement parks so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I'll have fun. I hope the look-a-likes are there so I can take some pictures of them..lol. I regret not talking to them or taking pictures of them at states to remember who they were. Oh well..lol. Anyways, I want to try and talk to "A" again. I'm probably going to send off an Email apologizing again to see if we could at least be friends, if anything. I'm kinda blah then kinda content. I am still longing for that special someone. I don't know why I keep moping on about this stuff, but I guess I really want a relationship soon. Summer can't come soon enough. I'm planning to head down to the beach with PA in about 2 1/2 weeks. Hopefully things will work out. I'm going to attempt to take things slowly with whoever I meet so I can have a good chance with them. I really don't want to screw things up. I want to have a long lasting relationship and hopefully things will work. Well, that's all I want to write about for now. I'll update again tomorrow night, around the same time as usual!

Song of the moment: Abandoned Pools - The Remedy

May 6, 2002

Today was Monday. Nothing really to report tonight, so this will be short. Today was a boring day. School of course. The only good thing was is I was told by my English teacher today that I could take the AP courses next year and I should do fine. That was reassuring since I wasn't sure if I would be able to do well in the AP English course. I have to take the AP Computer Science test too, however I have to study and learn it all on my own since my school doesn't offer it. Not cool! PA wants to meet this week sometime, but I think it would be a waste since the time PA got here, it would be in the afternoon already and I wouldn't want to stay out late. I've been tired lately so I take naps in the early evening. I can't wait for summer! I hope PA could get off work so we could hangout on a weekend or something. We'll see. This weekend a group of friends me and Mandie talk to online want to meet. We'll see what happens if we do decide to meet up with these people. I am not going to get into a relationship with one of them just to do it, since I like PA and I might take things seriously and slowly not to screw up anything. I am longing for a LTR and I hope I could find someone soon. That's why I want the summer too, I will have more time to do my soulmate search. Anyways, it's 12:10 and I should be in bed. I'll write tomorrow.

Song of the moment: Kylie Minogue - Love At First Sight

May 5, 2002

End of the weekend already and it feels like it never even came! Today I stayed home. I am still tired and I didn't feel like really doing anything. Nothing really to talk about tonight. I was thinking what I want to do on prom weekend since some of the people I am friends with are all going out after they go to prom. Since I'm not going to prom, I want to plan something fun for myself so I don't have to think about how they all had fun when I didn't go. I think I might head out to the beach with PA the day after prom. We'll see. It'll depend on how everything works out in the coming week. I should be able to go without a problem. I'll just have to figure out what to do in getting PA here to Jersey. Shouldn't be a big problem to work out. I can't wait for summer too, I was thinking about all the places I could go and how I can have fun. Summer will be here soon!

Song of the moment: Pet Shop Boys - New York City Boy

May 4, 2002

The SATs were this morning. I didn't like getting up so early on a Saturday just to take them. I left the house around 7:45 and didn't get out of the tests till 12. They were really hard and I don't think I did good on them. After the tests were over, I didn't really know what to do so I went to see if I could find my old friend Matt's house. I ended up not knowing where exactly he lived and then turned around and came home after seeing how bad of an area he possibly lived in. The area was scary and dirty and I didn't want to look around and then get mugged or something. I went to McDonald's for lunch and came home and took a nap for the entire afternoon since I was really tired. Then I went out for coffee and night and that was about all for today. I thought about PA today, too.

Song of the moment: Live Element - Be Free

May 3, 2002

Today was Friday. I was glad it was finally the end of the week. Nothing major going on here today. Really dreading the SATs tomorrow. Tonight was EC, which is always the highlight of every Friday no matter what's going on. Tonight on EC it was pretty cool as usual. The opening song was a remix of Full Moon. I wish I could head up to TO sometime. I think I'm going to go next spring break. I want to go up for Wonderland during the summer EC special at Canada's theme park. That would totally rock. Nadine said my name again when they gave out the password for the chatroom. I like when she says my name on TV. Anyways, that's about all that went on today. To the left is a pic from EC with Nadine throwing to a video along with the EC dancers.

Song of the moment: Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This

May 1, 2002

Today's Wednesday. First day of May and getting closer to the end of the school year. I can't wait! Today was a decent day. I didn't go to school since there was a college fair in Woodbridge that had colleges from all over the country. I got up around 7:40. I should've slept in later considering I went to bed around 12:45, but I got up early anyway. I would be taking Manda with me to the fair. I picked her up around after 9, and I got gas in the car and we went to the fair. We got there around 9:30 and looked around at all the booths. We saw lots of people from our school and we left around 10:30. We got in the car and saw our other friends coming in, so we followed them in the car and talked for a minute or two. Our original plan was to go to the Woodbridge mall and then Menlo, but since everyone was going there after they looked at the fair, we decided to do something else. We went to Seaside. It took us about an hour to get there, and we didn't even need directions! We walked the boardwalk and along the beach. I got two shells. Then, we got our pictures taken in one of those booth things which was pretty funny. I played some games in the arcade and got the ticket for points again for next time to use. I was going to meet someone today from PA, and I wasn't sure if it would happen since we went to the shore. "PA" called me around 1, and we decided to meet at the Bridgewater Commons. Me and Manda came back to Bridgewater and we hung out at the mall and I met up with PA. PA is 22, so I didn't really know what to expect since I never met anyone older than 18. It turned out well. We ate at this pizza place in the mall and then walked around the mall talking and stuff. Bloomingdale's just opened up and I wanted to find the cologne that I smelt all day this past Saturday. I found it, but they were all out of it! I ordered it tonight since I really wanted it. Guess it means something to me too, after how Saturday took a major downfall. To my surprise, I didn't think a whole lot about this past weekend since I met PA today. I think the meet turned out pretty decent, and we agreed that we would need to meet again. Even though PA is 22, age doesn't really play a role and you don't tend to think about age when it involves someone who you may like and pursue a relationship with. Me and Manda and PA stayed at the mall till around 5 since we had to go home. I told PA thanks for meeting me, and we hugged. After this past Saturday, I guess I'm still in a burned state of mind, since I didn't want to make any first moves today. When PA hugged me, it was pretty cool and then I was reassured everything should be better in the future. I want to see PA again, but due to their work schedule weekends are ruled out. I can't wait for summer since I will drive there on the days they have off work to hangout. I'm pretty good now traveling long distances..lol. Today was an overall good day, and I hope things from here on out improve. I've been in a funky mood since Saturday night, and I want to get rid of this mood and be better. Hopefully things will improve soon. Maybe I could see PA again soon, and you never know what may happen. A relationship might form or something, you never know. I guess all I can say is time will tell, and I want to find a relationship soon.

Song of the moment: Toya - No Matta What

April 30, 2002

Tuesday. Nothing much really went on today. Today was a cloudy day then it rained in the afternoon. I didn't do anything of interest, just trying to sort things out in my mind. I got so frustrated this afternoon with everything that's been going on that I snapped at a few people unintentionally. A is officially over with me I think. We talked for a little bit, but the convo was short and I mainly did all the talking and got one word replies. A wrote in the journal online too, and it wasn't the nicest things to say about me which isn't cool. I'm not a bad person, but due to their way of thinking I am I guess. I'm going to let this one go, but it's been a little hard since I've been having dreams of being together and stuff. Go figure. Tomorrow is a college fair out of town in Woodbridge. Ten minutes from A's. Not cool at all. I need to let this one go since I'll end up getting in a depression again about crap. I could find someone, I just have to put my energy and optimism into it. I can do it. Time will tell. Anyways, that's all for tonight. I'll write again tomorrow maybe.

Song of the moment: Orgy - Blue Monday

April 29, 2002

Today is Monday. Very depressing day, or at least sad day anyway. I really am beginning to miss A. I don't have that much to write tonight, but I just want to know why everything went downhill and another chance or even talking isn't even an option at this point. I think I'm a pretty nice person and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone when it comes to a relationship. I talked with a few friends about what happened this weekend, and they said that I didn't do anything wrong. I guess I'll never know what really went on this past weekend and how A feels since we aren't talking anymore it seems. I guess it's back to square one. :( I am so lonely. Why can't I find someone?

Song of the moment: Pink - You Make Me Sick

April 27, 2002

Today I took Manda to Lacey to see Brian again. I also brought my friend A along. All I can say is there was something about this weekend that was weird. There was a weird vibe in the air, and in the end our relationships failed. Due to the personal matters on this, I won't say in here what exactly happened and what went wrong this day. The main question I would like an answer to is why everything had to go sour when me and Manda thought we actually had good luck with things for once?

Song of the moment: Course of Nature - Caught In The Sun

April 23, 2002

Got out early from la escuela, so I decided to take a trip to meet someone from online. I went alone. I had mixed feelings of doing this. Everyone was busy with other things today, so I decided to go alone. I was a little nervous since I would have to drive on the turnpike to get to my destination. All I can say is when I arrived, I was filled with excitement. For the first time in awhile, I was happy. We went to Woodbridge Mall and walked around for a little while. We had lots of fun. Then, we went back to the house and kissed. :X I can't wait to go up there again. I am lovestuck right now. I wish I could find my someone special and get rid of this lonely feeling.

Song of the moment: Brandy - Full Moon ("Your smile and all the love you showing lets me know that you like what you see and wanna get to know me too. This could very well be the start of something special")

March 16, 2002

Beach trip to Seaside Heights!! Me and Manda were some devious people when we decided to go to the beach without telling our parents where we really were and met up with people we knew from the area. When our mom's found out, we got yelled at for 10 minutes and that was it! Song playing when we were coming home was "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink. Fit the situation perfect! Don't Let My Mommie Get Me!! :)